I was feeling all reflective and thinking about my friendship with somebody and so I decided to write this brief little reflection about this song.
It’s funny how times and feelings change. This song is incredibly personal and it means a lot to me. When I uploaded it, I received some of my best feedback for any of my songs which I am entirely grateful for. I wrote this at around Easter last year, a few months after me and a person I was really close with fell apart. As a sense of closure I wrote this song to deal with the gaping hole that person left.
Our relationship was an odd one. We weren’t a couple or anything but we were two people who were polar opposites and a bit lost for a while who found each other. Being opposite was a small part of what made us so ‘toxic’ and whilst we were in one sense a great comfort to each other, in another we messed each other up a lot. It was a weird time for both of us and despite the way things turned out at the time, I am eternally grateful for that closeness we shared.
When we fell apart I felt both optimistic and lost at the same time. I felt optimistic because as things had become more and more difficult towards the end, I knew now we could be free without each other. But then I felt lost because I’d lost someone I talked to every single day and someone who meant the world to me. In the end I think it was for the best. We needed time out and that was that. The song kinda reflects that – I think musically it’s pretty bright despite it being mid-tempo but the lyrics are darker.
I can’t actually remember the ins and outs of how I wrote this song but I believe it was one that wrote itself in my head if I can remember correctly. Lyrically, I think it’s probably one of my favourites and the song pretty much explains everything.
Earlier this year, in a bizarre turn of events, we both tracked each other down again, both realising we missed each other. Things move on in a year and lots had happened but slowly, we’ve rebuilt all of that friendship we once destructed. I don’t regret what I said through this song but I certainly look at things a different way now, especially after talking to each other about things. It makes me happy knowing things have moved on from this song.
It just goes to show how different everything can look in a year.
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